my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Little spoons don't ask big questions
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
