Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize