Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize