Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
well you can't waste a boner
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize