I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize