I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
