My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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