K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
