So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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