I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
