Your face is a jimmy john
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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