I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
