your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
