Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
