sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
