Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
