Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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