with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
