I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
