got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
