If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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