Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
