Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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