Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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