It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
love makes seman taste better
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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