Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
They have beer where we have blood.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
