It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize