Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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