When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
