you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Randomize
