So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
