so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize