All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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