He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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