Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
