"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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