If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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