i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
