Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
should my penis look like a turkey
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
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