you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
