i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
