1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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