hell yes lets make some ravioli
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
