The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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