Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
