Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
