Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
