tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
