i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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