Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
