i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize