Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
