:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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