Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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