Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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