im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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