she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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