the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
