Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
