Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
