That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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