I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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