well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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